From WOW, THAT’S FANTASTIC to WTF

Life, hey? One moment you’re basking in the ‘WOW, THAT’S FANTASTIC!’ glow, and the next, you’re blindsided and it’s WTF!!

Indeed, life has a habit of throwing us curve balls when we least expect it. There you are, sailing smooth waters, then out of the blue, you’re tossed into the deep end — feeling overwhelmed to the point that thinking straight is an almost impossible task.

Hitting a rough patch is a part of the journey and steering through can be demanding. I’ve experienced this recently, where life’s path became a maze of hurdles, pain, and stress.

Despite our meticulous plans to pave the way to success for ourselves and others, sometimes things take a turn in the completely opposite direction.

I’m confident you’ve been there too — times when, despite your best efforts, the universe seems to have other plans.

In these moments, the ability to press ‘pause’, and have the space to process the challenges, our emotions and regain balance would be invaluable indeed. But in the absence of that, the real conundrum arises in what we choose to do when faced with such upheavals.

Tips for navigating challenging times

Needing to walk my own talk over the past few weeks, I have summarised below some of the strategies I find most helpful at challenging times, and included a few key resources at the end of the article.

SELF-LEADERSHIP FOCUSSED

1 Let calm be your choice

When the pressure’s on, take a deep breath, or a few breaths, several times per day. A moment of connection with our inner self and, even better, if it’s in the great outdoors, can be centring and grounding. Emulating a Zen master not only helps soothe our nervous system but also shifts us back into a state of clear thinking.

2 Name It to Tame It

Dr. Daniel Siegel’s concept of ‘name it to tame it’ serves as a powerful tool during tough times by providing a simple yet effective strategy for emotional regulation. Putting words to our experience can significantly shift our emotional state and reduce the feeling of being swamped. By identifying and verbalising our feelings, we engage the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which helps us to manage and lessen the intensity of our emotions. This act of labelling creates a mental space between ourselves and our reactions, granting us a clearer perspective.

3 Amplify Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a beacon of kindness while we’re navigating the stormy seas of overwhelm. It’s about granting ourselves the same understanding and care we’d offer a friend in strife. Self-compassion allows us to acknowledge our situation without harsh judgement and provides a moment of emotional respite to gather our wits.

CONNECTION FOCUSSED

4 Rally Your Support

Don’t do it alone. Ask for a helping hand or an understanding ear. Colleagues, supervisors, or your professional network — support is crucial. Who are your key personal and professional supports? Do you have mentors, a counsellor or EAP service you can access? Often, just verbalising the issue can help transform a huge mountain, back into a molehill.

STRATEGY FOCUSSED

5 Plan Your Approach

With a clearer head, it’s easier to step back and assess the situation. Identify the issue: is it a minor setback or a full-blown gremlin in the machine? Prioritise and devise a daily action plan. List the small steps you can take to deal with it practically and emotionally. A list can be an anchor point at these times.

6 Time to Reflect

After the storm passes, it’s wise to reflect. What worked? What didn’t? Learn from these insights. Not only do these lessons shape future decisions, but they also make for great storytelling material. Keep a journal, your personal ‘what to do and not to do next time’ reference, which doubles as an enriching recap of your resilience journey.

7 Find perspective

Humour is a salve for the soul. Finding a reason to chuckle, even in the face of adversity, is a step towards recovery. A good laugh won’t take away the pain and distress, but it can be a momentary reprieve and help us gain perspective.

Ask yourself, how much will these things matter in a day, a week, a month and in a year. At the end of this newsletter there is a link to a blog, that always helps me turn WTF into ROFL and makes me laugh during my most challenging times.

In summary, when life seems to be spiralling out of our control, how we support ourselves is key.

What little plan can you create for yourself to be a guide and resource during difficult times?

It helps us re-assure ourselves with – you’ve got this!

Resources:

  1. Let calm be your choice: Calm App

  2. Name It to Tame It: https://mindfulness.com/mindful-living/name-it-to-tame-it

  3. Amplify Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/

  4. Find perspective: https://www.raptitude.com/2013/10/6-helpful-reminders-for-the-overwhelmed-person/

Michelle Bihary