What is true self-care? and some tips!
*Disclaimer* I'm not talking about having a blissful spa day, massage, baths and candles.
Whilst those things can be very nice, deeply replenishing and meaningful self-care is something quite different.
The reason I say this, is that often people have a massage or walk in nature while criticising themselves the whole time.
Have you ever done this? I certainly have.
While I was taking positive self-care actions, I was telling myself an unhelpful story about self-care being selfish, indulgent or unnecessary.
So, what I'm focussing on, is not the action we take, but aligning our actions with our thinking and our mindset. This goes to something far more fundamental, that we really deeply care for ourselves, with kindness, compassion and respect.
How we speak to and care for ourselves is crucial. It would be best if we speak to and care for ourselves the way we would for a loved one or valued colleague.
What steps can we take to deepen our self-care?
1 Listen to ourselves
So many of us have the volume turned up really loud on what other people need and expect from us, that we turn the volume down on our own needs and wants.
2 Stop over-functioning for others
Take a step back and consider where you tend to over-function for others. When we over-function for others, we under-function for ourselves. Once we recognise the patterns we are in, we can slowly over time hand the responsibility back to them.
3 Remember to prioritise ourselves
Deep self-care means giving ourselves permission to prioritise ourselves. If we have not been in the habit of deep self-care, we may need to set up some reminders in our daily routine.
Have little reminders each day to think about, what do I need today? How can I care for myself even in very small ways?
This may include:
putting a sticky note on your bathroom mirror reminding yourself to breathe, to value your strengths, to slow down
regularly review what you are doing for others and adjust the balance more towards yourself
hold a regular team meeting to discuss your team's self-care strategies
take a lunch break and leave work on time
meet or call a close friend regularly to ground yourself back to your values
go for a walk or spend even a few minutes in nature
identify the hobbies and activities that truly bring you joy and invest time in them.
As we head towards the frantic end of the year, I truly hope you find time and headspace for deepening your self-care.
Further insight
Click the buttons below to read my blog: The Power of Self-leadership and learn more about my Thriving Professional Women course.